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Number 8: Hugo Masters

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Hugo Masters
“That One Guy”
Favorite Quote: “Have we met?”


The History: Hugo never dated Ramona. However, he was a good friend of a large number of the suspected millions (that’s right) of people that Ramona Flowers has dumped in the past. After watching friend after friend have their hearts brutally broken by Ramona’s unstoppable relationship rampage, his finally broke too out of anger and sadness. This thus created a completely new breed of evil ex:

The ex-through-default.

The Encounter: After suspending his broken heart in a special container in his chest to keep it from breaking all the way he used subspace to track down Scott and Ramona and challenged Scott in battle. Scott found that since he was not just a regular “evil-ex” it was impossible to defeat him with either the power of love or understanding and fled like a big hipster baby.

The Defeat: After much thought (thought being video games) Scott figured out a loophole in Hugo’s seemingly impenetrable defense. He invited Hugo out to a last supper before “his demise” at a restaurant, sharing some loose conversation and a laugh or two. Immediately following this Scott gained the “Power of Acquaintanceship” thus making the two no longer strangers but not quite friends either. Having gained this they were transported to the bizarre “Acquaintance Zone”, a pocket dimension where Hugo could be harmed. Here Scott quickly dealt him an embarrassing defeat after all Hugo’s insane bonus stats he had in the real world were sapped.
Instead of coins he ironically exploded into tacky greeting cards. Scott found this funny. Ramona didn’t.

Theme Song: “Nostrand” by Ratatat
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Garden-of-Ashes's avatar
I'm surprised Brian was able to pick who was #1 #2 and #3 you all were pretty equal, hehe!

I love the idea of a ex-but-not-really

and does ex-through-default mean like ex-by-default.

also, I find it intriguing how...
how the fuck does he eat? does it just kind of get broken up by the liquid in his jar, get absorbed into his heart and pumped throughout his system?